XLVI. (368) Having then escaped from what was rather a theatre and a prison than a court of justice (for as in a theatre, there was a great noise of people hissing, and groaning, and ridiculing us in an extravagant manner, and as in a prison, there were many blows inflicted on our bodies, and tortures, and things to agitate our whole souls by the blasphemies which those around us uttered against the Deity, and the threats which they breathed forth against ourselves, and which the emperor himself poured forth with such vehemence, being indignant with us not in behalf of any one else, for in that case he would soon have been appeased, but because of himself and his great desire to be declared a god, in which desire he considered that the Jews were the only people who did not acquiesce, and who were unable to subscribe to it), (369) we at last recovered our breath, not because we had been afraid of death from a base hankering after life, since we would have cheerfully embraced death as immortality if our laws and customs could have been established by such means, but because we knew that we should be destroyed with great ignominy, without any desirable object being secured by such means, for whatever insults ambassadors are subjected to are at all times referred to those who sent them. (370) It was owing to these considerations that we were able to hold up our heads for a while, but there were other circumstances which terrified us, and kept us in great perplexity and distress to hear what the emperor would decide, and what he would pronounce, and what kind of sentence he would ultimately deliver; for he heard the general tenor of our arguments, though he disdained to attend to some of our facts. But would it not be a terrible thing for the interests of all the Jews throughout the whole world to be thrown into confusion by the treatment to which we, its five ambassadors, were exposed? (371) For if he were to give us up to our enemies, what other city could enjoy tranquillity? What city would there be in which the citizens would not attack the Jews living in it? What synagogue would be left uninjured? What state would not overturn every principle of justice in respect of those of their countrymen who arrayed themselves in opposition to the national laws and customs of the Jews? They will be overthrown, they will be shipwrecked, they will be sent to the bottom, with all the particular laws of the nation, and those too which are common to all and in accordance with the principles of justice recognized in every city. (372) We, then, being overwhelmed with affliction, in our misery perplexed ourselves with such reasonings as these; for even those who up to this time had seemed to cooperate with us were now wearied of taking our part. Therefore, when we called them forth, they being within, did not remain, but came forth privily in fear, knowing well the desire which the emperor had to be looked upon as God. (373) We have now related in a concise and summary manner the cause of the hatred of Gaius to the whole nation of the Jews; we must now proceed to make our palinode to Gaius.
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